To many times has the thought of you plagued my mind.
While you're wrapped up in the arms of another, here I sit firmly clutching small treasures of yours that you left behind. My hands dance around them perfectly, exploring each one to the fullest. and when the wind howls your name throughout the cold pitch black night, I will force myself not to listen to the steady rhythm of it passing by. Instead I shall sit there listening to the steady beat of my tired heart against my chest. Hoping and begging that this too shall pass. So when I'm pressed tightly against a drunken stranger choking back your name as we kiss, I will melt into him. Forgetting the taste of your lips instantly. (unedited)
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I was in love with a boy.
Who would trace his hands all over my body, and so very often I found myself questioning him as to why. Why would a boy so delicate, so gentle. Wrapped up with so much love and fire, ever find pleasures by my side. and one day he told me his reply. It was the way his mouth found mine in the half lit room. The way our bodies melted into each other, hushed moans filling the room. It was the way his hands ached so badly to be on my skin as if they could ease away the pain. Or I believed it was the way my head would fall back, uncomfortable laughter flowing out of mouth and on to us both. I was in love with a boy, And the universe has created another wonder, That I have the pleasure and ability to call it mine. Without You, my dear I could wear my skin proudly.
Be my own women. Without you, I saw a future decorated in gold trimming, grinning back at me. The sound of laughter and joy eagerly escaped passed my lips. As if it longed for so long to be free. I was Free. Didn't they tell you? Without you, Honey I became something. Became something, I spent centuries hiding away afraid that you could not handle it. I was the star of my own show again, no sharing with half minded dim witted persons. I think I'am breathing. .... I think I'am living. ..... Because with you, oh god. With You, I was nothing. Tell me that when I'm laying underneath you,
Vulnerable Soul free that I'm a masterpiece. That the way my face scrunches up in pure pleasure as you trace your fingers below, Is the only thing you want to come home too. That when the coldness has invaded every inch of my soul today and the world is a little to cruel for me to handle. You wouldn't have me any other way. And when to much laughter pours out of my lips onto my nude body. There will be a certain neediness that boils to the surface, something that can't be silenced. My heart will ache, and my bones will be laced with so much sadness. I'm afraid I might come undone Tell me I'm a masterpiece. Because sometimes my own ears won't listen to the words slipping out of my mouth. And when I'm on top of you, hands tracing your chest, watching the rise and fall of it. I too will capture your lips in between mine and I will taste happiness. I will taste all the misery and heartache you have been through. The Pain The Joy The Ache The Hope The damned My sharp hands will explore you, careful to take their time. And when my mouth finds delicate treasures you yourself will lay there head tipped back, Naked Free On fire. And I might tell you in hushed moans what a masterpiece you are. (unedited) |